Beware Exploding Dogs in Darwin!

The Northern Territory News is often a source of truly amazing news
stories. On my visits to Darwin I can't wait to get my hands on this
great little newspaper. There may have been a major earthquake in
Melbourne, or the Taliban may have entered Sydney, but the Territory News is a bastion of defiance against the
southern states and the front page headline will read "Croc found in
backyard pool" or "Snake in Toilet Terrorises Grandmother".

Snake in Toilet: caustic soda failed to dissolve this blockage

A few weeks
back, on one of my visits up north to the only state that still allows
an illusion of freedom, the weekend edition headline was "Territory's First
Five Legged Cane Toad" accompanied by a picture of the mutant creature,
named Jake the Peg. You can visit Jake, if you're ever up there, at the
Territory Museum. Another headline read "Toadzilla: World's Biggest
Cane Toad". This was on an occasion of a disastrous bushfire down
south that was making news headlines across the country. A Queensland newspaper dismissed Toadzilla as 'a mere tadpole'.
This was then hotly disputed by the Northern Territory News.

Toadzilla

Far
more important than Cyclone Helen this weekend was the frightening news
that the planned A.F.L. game between the Darwin Wanderers and the Tiwi
Islands Bombers may have to be cancelled. The Territory News pointed
out that should the Wanderers make the call, they would have to forfeit
the game to the Tiwi Bombers. However, a much better outcome would be
if the cyclone prevented the Tiwi Bombers' flight from landing before
the 10am start, because then they would have to forfeit. I have not
heard which scenario eventuated, but I kind of hope the Bombers
forfeited, having a soft spot for Territorians, crazy as they are.

Tiwi Bombers hopefully bombed out this weekend

But the news report of the week has got to be the case of the exploding dog.

Readers,
if your dog should become late, do NOT place it in the freezer while
deciding what to do with it. Because if you should choose cremation,
that frozen dog will become a potential bomb.

Last week in
Darwin, as reported by the Northern Territory News, firefighters were
called out to the Pets Eternal Tranquillity Crematorium in the suburb
of Berrimah after reports that a frozen dog had exploded and a red glow
could be seen coming from the chimney flue.

The crematorium
owner was shocked when she saw fire trucks arriving with sirens
blaring. "Sometimes frozen animals explode when put in the 900C heat of
the furnace," she said. "I don't know who called the fire brigade, but
there was no need, and we don't want pet owners upset when booking
their pets in for cremation. They should just let us know if the animal
is frozen or not, and we'll wait for it to thaw if necessary."

Exploding Dog at Pets Eternal Tranquility. It is not known how many ashes were collected for placement in an urn.

Territory
Planning Minister Delia Lawrie thought it circumspect to make the
situation clear on ABC Radio that exploding dogs would not be a problem
to tenants in a new government housing estate being built opposite Pets
Eternal Tranquillity. She said the dog exploded because it had not been
defrosted. (Will you ever put a frozen turkey in the oven again?)

So,
comrades, get yourselves a subscription to the Northern Territory News.
Instead of the deadly boring Sydney Morning Herald or The Australian, you
can get the news that really matters and the cares of the world will seem a lifetime away.

Check out the Elders Real Estate Homepage:

http://www.elders.com.au/darwin/